Feedback Is Not the Enemy
Feedback, when done right, is one of the most powerful leadership tools available. Yet for many teams, it’s one of the most feared.
Why? Because too often, it’s delivered poorly, or received defensively.
But feedback isn’t an attack. It’s a gift. At its best, feedback helps individuals grow, helps teams work more effectively, and helps leaders build stronger, more accountable cultures.
The goal is not to avoid discomfort but to turn it into development.
1. Start with the Right Mindset
Before you give or receive feedback, check your intent. Are you trying to help the person grow? Solve a problem? Strengthen the team?
If your mindset is punitive or reactive, the conversation won’t land well. But if your mindset is coaching-oriented, curious, and respectful, the other person is far more likely to stay open.
Ask yourself:
- “What outcome am I hoping for?”
- “What does this person need to succeed?”
This mindset shift makes feedback feel less like judgement, and more like partnership.
2. Create a Safe Environment for Feedback
No one thrives in fear. That’s why feedback needs the right conditions to work—especially in a workplace.
How to create safety:
- Be intentional about timing – don’t deliver feedback in hallways or rushed Zoom calls. Create a space where the person can listen without feeling ambushed.
- Make feedback a regular rhythm – if people only hear from you when something is wrong, they’ll associate your presence with pressure.
- Establish trust beforehand – feedback is more effective when people believe you genuinely care about their growth.
Psychological safety isn’t a soft luxury—it’s the foundation of healthy accountability.
3. Structure Matters – Use a Clear Framework
Winging it leads to miscommunication. A feedback structure gives clarity—for both you and the person you’re speaking to.
Use proven models like:
- SBI (Situation – Behaviour – Impact): “In yesterday’s client call (situation), you cut off the client several times (behaviour), which made them visibly frustrated (Impact).”
- Stop – Start – Continue: A quick, clear way to discuss habits to drop, try, or maintain.
Structure ensures that your feedback is focused, not emotional. It gives the other person something real to reflect on.
4. Focus on Behaviours, Not Personalities
Criticism stings when it feels like a personal attack. That’s why it’s critical to target actions and not character.
Avoid vague labels like:
- “You’re careless.”
- “You’re not a team player.”
Instead, be specific:
- “In the last report, there were multiple unchecked data errors.”
- “In our team meeting, you dismissed three people’s input without explanation.”
Clear, objective language reduces defensiveness and creates room for reflection.
5. Make Room for Response
Feedback is not a monologue. It’s a conversation. After sharing your perspective, pause and invite the other person to share theirs.
Ask questions like:
- “How does that land for you?”
- “What’s your take on that situation?”
People are more likely to accept feedback when they feel heard. And often, their context helps you understand what really happened—and what support they need moving forward.
6. How to Receive Feedback Gracefully
Even seasoned leaders struggle with receiving feedback. But how you respond sets the tone for your whole team.
Best practices:
- Pause before reacting especially if the feedback stings. Breathe, take notes, and listen.
- Ask clarifying questions such as “Can you give me an example of what you meant?”
- Say thank you even when it’s hard. Acknowledging the courage it takes to speak up reinforces a culture of openness.
Leaders who receive feedback well create psychological permission for everyone else to do the same.
7. Model What You Expect
You can’t lead what you don’t live. If you want a culture where people give and receive feedback openly, you must go first.
How to model it:
- Ask your team regularly: “What’s one thing I could do better?”
- Acknowledge your mistakes publicly. “I missed the mark on that presentation—I’ll tighten up next time.”
- Show growth in response to feedback you’ve received.
Your vulnerability makes it safer for others to speak up—and signals that development is everyone’s job.
8. Turn Feedback into Growth
Feedback is only useful if it leads to change. Whether you’re giving or receiving, the final step is always action.
For the giver:
- Ask: “What support do you need to work on this?”
- Follow up: Check in after a few weeks to see how things are progressing.
For the receiver:
- Build a plan to apply the insights.
- Reflect: “What do I want to do differently in future situations?”
Celebrate effort and progress, not just perfection.
9. Keep Practising—It Gets Easier
Feedback doesn’t get easier overnight. But with consistent practice, it becomes less intimidating and more natural.
Whether it’s a quick reflection or a formal conversation, each moment you lean into feedback sharpens your leadership. Over time, you build not just a stronger team—but a culture of continuous growth.
Want to Strengthen Your Feedback Culture?
At Two Cents Leadership Institute, we help leaders master high-impact communication—including how to give and receive feedback with confidence.
Whether you’re leading corporate teams or mentoring emerging leaders, our programmes are designed to help you grow—and help your people thrive.
Explore our leadership programmes or contact us to schedule a consultation today.
Let’s help you grow—so you can move others forward.
